DOSE HERSELF – VERONICA GUSHANSKY {EXCLUSIVE EDITORIAL/PHOTOGRAPHY}

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Our good friend up in San Francisco, Veronica aka Vera, sent us this beautiful exclusive editorial along with some words to get you into the meaning of the images.  Vera is a jewelry designer, model and photographer with an artistic eye and a free spirit.  She has modeled for a few of our other contributors and editors but this is her first photography submission.  This editorial tells a story of a girl, lost at first, in her own thoughts.  We hope you enjoy this story and series with model Lauren Luck as much as we do!

After a night of tossing and turning, she awoke in the morning feeling knotted. Tangled like a pretzel, knowing she was waking up into a reality that was built from falsehood. Her mind was racing, and her body wouldn’t allow her to rise. Trying so hard to be a productive member of society, she would swallow the dark night and attempt to rise from the stale sheets, walk away from the black eye-makeup stained pillow cases filled with self produced fresh puddles. She was locked in the dark for so long that just the sheer sight of light would scorch her eyes. She knew the light brought a truth along with it, and she feared that most. Dysfunctional, emotional, and little bit disturbed, she felt like she needed to build herself a new reality. But she just kept swallowing the ache, not realizing that every gulp she took served as very the meals which sustained her life. Depressed and stressed felt like her destiny and she hoped that death was coming quick. I want you to understand that she wanted to live a life like everyone else. To wakeup feeling refreshed. To brush her teeth, eat some breakfast with a nice hot cup of coffee whilst sitting across the table from someone she loved. I want you to know that she felt like she slowly killed everyone that she loved, just like she was slowly killing herself. And she didn’t want to keep killing living creatures. I need you to see that, inherently, she was moral. But after so many years of eating and digesting her woes, she wasn’t able to satisfy her appetite with anything but. Everyday was filled with attempts to escape. She would dose herself and walk into a forest where she could lay below the trees and kiss the leaves. What did she dose herself with everyday you may ask? A false reality. She wanted so badly to build herself a perfect present. Without actually realizing that she manifested her reality, and had the power to build herself a world where she could dance in the sun. Where light could enter her soul and not burn her alive. I want you to think of a time when every breath you took felt like you were choking. I want you to think of a time where you felt like everything was caving in on you. I want you to think of a time where you thought things wouldn’t change, and that it wouldn’t get better. Then take a deep breath and realize that your reality, each circumstance, is beautifully, positively, fucking perfect. She needed to swallow that darkness, digest it, and then begin to dose herself with positive perspectives. She needed to feed herself love, laughter, gratitude, acceptance, understanding, compassion, and bliss. So she could transcend into her highest form of self. Just like you can and will do. You may not believe me or understand me today, but one day you will. One day you will realize how fucking perfect every molecule in your body is. You are built from sheer love. You are light. You are love. 

See more of Veronica’s work here INSTAGRAM / WEBSITE 

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About Dustin Hollywood

Professional Photographer & Founder/Editor-In-Chief of Nakid Magazine: Dustin Hollywood

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